Slime (US: Leisure Books, 1988)
Tagline: "Something began to seep from the poisoned ground..."
First off, feast your eyes on that cover which is laughably pathetic. It looks
like they copped this kid off a children's mystery novel and added some
green goo to spell out Slime. Leisure Books was one of the few American
publishers that put out nasties with any regularity but their cover art was
notoriously bad. Only Zebra's was worse. William Essex was pseudonym of
John Tigges, a prolific midlist horror writer that churned out a steady stream
of novels for Leisure back in the '80's. Under the Essex pen name he put out
a handful of nasties. Slime is one of them. But, as they say, you can't judge
a book by its cover so let's try and be fair and pretend the cover was much
Tagline: "Something began to seep from the poisoned ground..."
First off, feast your eyes on that cover which is laughably pathetic. It looks
like they copped this kid off a children's mystery novel and added some
green goo to spell out Slime. Leisure Books was one of the few American
publishers that put out nasties with any regularity but their cover art was
notoriously bad. Only Zebra's was worse. William Essex was pseudonym of
John Tigges, a prolific midlist horror writer that churned out a steady stream
of novels for Leisure back in the '80's. Under the Essex pen name he put out
a handful of nasties. Slime is one of them. But, as they say, you can't judge
a book by its cover so let's try and be fair and pretend the cover was much
better and handled by a capable artist. I've been a long time lover of crawling blob books and movies
and have seen/read just about all of them because, really, what's more fun or disgusting than a creeping
fungus or a slithering jelly?
Slime opens with a bunch of rednecks who work for a chemical company dumping toxic waste into a
hole out in a farmer's pasture. Flash forward five years. The toxic waste has mutated animal matter into
the titular slime menace which goes around eating things. Anything it can get its green tendrils on. And
as it eats, of course, its mass expands. Since the book is set in farming country, food abounds. The
green slime devours pigs and chickens, herds of cows and goats, cleans out a dog kennel and, of
course, munches on a lot of stupid Farmer Brown types all of whom seem to feel the need to dip their
fingers into the green goo wherever they find it. Which isn't a good idea, as you might have guessed,
because the green goo dissolves flesh on contact and it only takes one drop to start the process. Nasty.
One would need to be quite wary of such an organism, wouldn't one? Certainly. Thankfully, Essex
disagrees with us. His characters are uniformly bovine and completely lacking in even the most
rudimentary common sense. They are little better than livestock themselves and generally not much
smarter.
And they die in numbers which is the high point of this book:
"The foamy jell quickly invaded her mouth, and Mary's gurgles turned into gasps as her tongue and
throat were devoured."
Poor Mary. But she won't be the only one. Which two lovers discover as they have a little fun on a
hillside and the slime decides to join in:
"Her flesh was being eaten away, and when she looked down she found her breasts covered with the
green stuff. Her legs, covered with it, were rapidly disappearing. Rick fell forward to lie next to Carole,
who writhed on the ground. Her small breasts quickly diminished in size as they were consumed, and
the green scum ate its way into her chest. When the lungs and heart were attacked what was left of
Carole lay still, unmoving until the last bit was gone.
The slurping sounds continued for several minutes..."
You get the gist. Like any nasty worth its salt, the people parading around in this book are only there to
be eaten. Nothing wrong with that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the characters are strictly B-movie stock
types with all the depth of a mud puddle. The cops are uniformly dumb and clueless, and like any
B-movie only the hero and his girlfriend see the true danger but no one will believe them, of course,
since they're too busy dipping their fingers into the green patches of slime they find. What the hell is this
stuff? Might as well touch it. As a good example of how illogical our characters behave we have a
trucker passing through town. He's sees the slime all over the road so, of course, he stops to look at it.
He can't figure out what it is so he dips his finger into it and then decides he might as well taste it so he
touches it to his tongue. And really, isn't that what you'd do?
Pros: Although I've been poking fun at this book, it is no worse then most bottom-of-the-barrel nasties.
It's readable and moves quickly. There are some passable gore parts.
Cons: Well, let's face it: this isn't a great book. The characters are very one-dimensional and behave
irrationally more often than not. Essex writes firmly in the Richard Laymon school of brevity and because
of which, he never really manages to get any good atmosphere going. I'm pretty sure Tigges knocked
this out for a quick check.
Overall: I offer this one mainly for completists like myself who feel the need to read every oozing blob
book available. Other than a few decent scenes of people being dissolved by the slime, there's not
much to recommend this one.
I give it two bloody skulls out of five.
Next month's Guilty Pleasure:
"A far from human birth..."
and have seen/read just about all of them because, really, what's more fun or disgusting than a creeping
fungus or a slithering jelly?
Slime opens with a bunch of rednecks who work for a chemical company dumping toxic waste into a
hole out in a farmer's pasture. Flash forward five years. The toxic waste has mutated animal matter into
the titular slime menace which goes around eating things. Anything it can get its green tendrils on. And
as it eats, of course, its mass expands. Since the book is set in farming country, food abounds. The
green slime devours pigs and chickens, herds of cows and goats, cleans out a dog kennel and, of
course, munches on a lot of stupid Farmer Brown types all of whom seem to feel the need to dip their
fingers into the green goo wherever they find it. Which isn't a good idea, as you might have guessed,
because the green goo dissolves flesh on contact and it only takes one drop to start the process. Nasty.
One would need to be quite wary of such an organism, wouldn't one? Certainly. Thankfully, Essex
disagrees with us. His characters are uniformly bovine and completely lacking in even the most
rudimentary common sense. They are little better than livestock themselves and generally not much
smarter.
And they die in numbers which is the high point of this book:
"The foamy jell quickly invaded her mouth, and Mary's gurgles turned into gasps as her tongue and
throat were devoured."
Poor Mary. But she won't be the only one. Which two lovers discover as they have a little fun on a
hillside and the slime decides to join in:
"Her flesh was being eaten away, and when she looked down she found her breasts covered with the
green stuff. Her legs, covered with it, were rapidly disappearing. Rick fell forward to lie next to Carole,
who writhed on the ground. Her small breasts quickly diminished in size as they were consumed, and
the green scum ate its way into her chest. When the lungs and heart were attacked what was left of
Carole lay still, unmoving until the last bit was gone.
The slurping sounds continued for several minutes..."
You get the gist. Like any nasty worth its salt, the people parading around in this book are only there to
be eaten. Nothing wrong with that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the characters are strictly B-movie stock
types with all the depth of a mud puddle. The cops are uniformly dumb and clueless, and like any
B-movie only the hero and his girlfriend see the true danger but no one will believe them, of course,
since they're too busy dipping their fingers into the green patches of slime they find. What the hell is this
stuff? Might as well touch it. As a good example of how illogical our characters behave we have a
trucker passing through town. He's sees the slime all over the road so, of course, he stops to look at it.
He can't figure out what it is so he dips his finger into it and then decides he might as well taste it so he
touches it to his tongue. And really, isn't that what you'd do?
Pros: Although I've been poking fun at this book, it is no worse then most bottom-of-the-barrel nasties.
It's readable and moves quickly. There are some passable gore parts.
Cons: Well, let's face it: this isn't a great book. The characters are very one-dimensional and behave
irrationally more often than not. Essex writes firmly in the Richard Laymon school of brevity and because
of which, he never really manages to get any good atmosphere going. I'm pretty sure Tigges knocked
this out for a quick check.
Overall: I offer this one mainly for completists like myself who feel the need to read every oozing blob
book available. Other than a few decent scenes of people being dissolved by the slime, there's not
much to recommend this one.
I give it two bloody skulls out of five.
Next month's Guilty Pleasure:
"A far from human birth..."